Commentary on poem 3
Monday, September 13, 2010 ‚óè 5:56 PM
(a) the theme that you are exploring in the poem(b) how you developed the theme in your poem
(c) the effect/s that you would like to achieve in the poem to impact your readers and how you went about doing it.
(d) the extent to which you think you have been successful
The theme that i am exploring in my poem is betting on a game with money. In life, it is very addictive. In the story, the character was an addict, she used a lot of ways to struck lottery , but was to no avail. It is a great problem in Singapore, people are spending lots of money on it.
I used poetic devices like metaphors, similes and personification on my poem, to bring out the effect of the theme. The poetic devices can help to exaggerate on the theme of the poem. I described Ah Boh's life as, " My life depended on the gambling table, the newspaper column announcing the results of races and draws." This shows that she cannot live without spending her money on buying lottery, her life is the same as some gamblers. They cannot quit it once they start, it will be very difficult to quit it.I described on how the household owner questioned her, "she was a police questioning a thief." The household owner was not happy, she was bothered that her helper was a spending money on lottery. Every family member in each family will not like if one of the family member gambles as they will not strike lottery every time and may lose a lot of money. "The numbers persuaded me into buying it." Ah Boh is always tempted to buy lottery.
I would like my readers to read the poem from my point of view of writing－spending money on lottery is not a good thing, it is a waste of money. I hope my readers would not misunderstand my poem. I looked up on how to use personification and asked my friends about it. I read the comments that my friends have given and edit my poem so it could become better.
I do not think my poem is very successful as most of my classmates did a better job but i have tried my best to write it. I think that my poem is not very specific, after reading it, i felt that it is lack of details. I feel that i did a good job at the ending. It ended quite well.